


The Surprising Case of Klaus Harris-Katz

by GalekhXigisi



Series: The Paranormal Investigation of The Umbrella Academy/Hargreeves Siblings [1]
Category: Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series), The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: End Of the World Averted, M/M, Mock case, Past Relationship(s)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-19
Updated: 2019-04-19
Packaged: 2020-01-16 14:56:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,483
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18523852
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GalekhXigisi/pseuds/GalekhXigisi
Summary: Shane and Ryan discuss the disappearance of Klaus (actually Hargreeves) Harris-Katz





	The Surprising Case of Klaus Harris-Katz

“Today, we’re going to be covering the unsolved case of Klaus Harris,” Ryan takes up with a smile as he stares at the camera in front of him. 

 

“Who,” Shane asks, a brow raised. 

 

Ryan sighs and shakes his head, a smile on his lips as he scoffs, “You never read my emails, do you?” 

 

“You sent me an email at two in the morning that just said,” he pulls out his phone, scrolling through it. After a couple of seconds, he starts to read out, _ “”Klaus was probably gay and he died. We’re doing an episode on him.”  _ It’s followed by a twenty-three letter keyboard smash consisting of the same  _ three letters. _ What the-” he pauses to wheeze as Ryan’s laughter. “What the  _ Hell _ am I supposed to make of this, Ryan?” 

 

“Well-” 

 

“You just said,  _ “Klaus was probably gay and he died.” _ You used seven periods followed by three question marks.” They both wheeze. “Seriously, what am I supposed to make of this?” 

 

“Let’s just get to the case,” Ryan huffs in return, picking up his manilla folder and tapping it against the desk to straighten out the papers. 

 

Shane looks at the side camera, eyes a little wide as he concludes, “I still don’t like the folders,” which is immediately followed by another wheeze from Ryan. 

 

“Alright, then.” 

 

The didn’t manage to calm down until five minutes later, still repeating their banter. It doesn’t help to find out that only two of the three cameras were actually rolling. However, Ryan does  _ finally _ force himself to get on with the case after yet  _ another _ banter with Shane about the importance of  _ actually turning on the cameras, Ryan. All three of them, not just two. _

 

“On May twenty-seventh, nineteen sixty-eight-” 

 

“He should’ve waited a year,” Shane mumbles softly. 

 

Ryan pauses for a moment before choking out a laugh. “Not even a full sentence in and you’ve already interrupted.” 

 

“What can I say? I am but a man of-” 

 

Ryan interrupts him this time, “A man going by the name of Klaus Harris showed up in the middle of Vietnam.” 

 

“Wasn’t there a war going on then?” 

 

Ryan huffs.  _ “Yes, _ there was a war going on!” He glares halfheartedly at his friend. There’s no actual malice behind it. He instantly goes back to his official  _ announcing voice, _ “As it appeared, there were no files on him, nor even any trace of him outside of anywhere else.” 

 

“There wasn’t, like, a legal file on him,” Shane asks hesitantly after a moment of silence. “Is this like the boy in the box case where there’s just  _ nothing _ to go off of?” 

 

“I mean, there was no legal documentation on him. No one could find literally  _ anything _ on him. They literally said he appeared out of  _ nowhere _ in bright blue light.” 

 

“Sounds like some really weird movie.” 

 

“He was all cut up, too.” 

 

Shane raises a brow, turning his chair towards the other. “Cut up as in?...” 

 

“Well, the description was that he was in a black overcoat that looked like it was from two-thousand seven or something like that and a plain, white towel. He was covered in blood,” he brings a hand up to gesture to his chest, “It was all over his chest and looked like he was just tortured. They even said he had a lot of bruises on his forehead, throat, and so on. It looked like he had his forehead bashed against a wall and someone tried to strangle him.” 

 

Shane visibly jerks back, eyes widening as he does a doubletake. “That sounds pretty brutal. Imagine getting zapped to some different year with the only thing you know being a towel and a jacket.” 

 

“I’d probably cry,” Ryan admits. 

 

Shane nods. “I- uh, I think I would, too, maybe? I mean, did someone just try to kill him or?...” He trails off, a hand turning about at Ryan, digging for suggestions. 

 

“Oh, I forgot something important!” 

 

“Wouldn’t be the first time you have. What’s the big detail, Ryan?” 

 

“He had a briefcase with him. And he  _ always _ had it on him. Like, he never  _ once _ let it out of his sight and once stabbed someone’s hand with a knife for even attempting to get close to it.” 

 

“Jeez,” Shane huffs. “What’s so important about it?” 

 

“I’ll get to that, hold on!” 

 

Shane huffs in return to it but does begrudgingly nod, accepting that he does actually have to  _ get through the case _ to actually know what’s going on.

 

Ryan returns to the case in his typical  _ official voice, _ as per usual. “No one seemed to pay much mind to him aside from David Katz.” Shane’s brow raises, but he doesn’t comment for a moment, letting the other speak. “The very next day, the two became officially acquainted.” 

 

“Hey, uh, Katz is a Jewish last name, right?” 

 

Ryan hums, giving a soft shrug. “I’m not exactly sure that it’s Jewish, but Dave was Jewish, yeah. But that’s a little important for  _ later, _ not now.” 

 

Shane huffs with a patient nod, not commenting on it as he awaits the other’s words. “Alright, alright, sorry.” 

 

“Since they  _ were _ in the middle of the war, no one really questioned much of it, as they had been attacked literally the moment that Klaus appeared. After finally getting everything to settle two weeks later, they finally enrolled him into the war, though legal documentation never actually came.” 

 

“Why?” 

 

“I’ll get to that,” Ryan huffs, though he smiles all the same. 

 

“I’m impatient.” 

 

“After so many seasons of this show, trust me,  _ I’ve noticed.” _

 

Shane rolls his eyes lets out a laugh. 

 

“Now, after that, many of the other soldiers started to notice Klaus getting many injuries. There aren’t any exact dates to it, but they’re still apparent. Despite all of that, he never once went to the medic the entire time.” 

 

“Not once? He didn’t even go for, like, migraines and stuff?” 

 

“I’m pretty sure that in the middle of a war, a migraine seems pretty common compared to getting literally shot in the chest multiple times.” 

 

“He was shot,” Shane yelps, brows raised and eyes wide. 

 

Ryan scans over his papers. “Multiple times, apparently,” He hums, passing a paper to Shane. 

 

“This just says,  _ “He was shot, like, a lot,” _ in bright red ink.” Shane laughs at the other. 

 

“Yeah, there were some parts of research that wasn’t exactly research. Can you toss that in the trash?” Ryan leans back some, pointing to the trashcan beside the other. 

 

Shane turns his attention to the trash. “Oh, yeah.” The taller crumbles up the paper, tossing it into the can without another comment. 

 

“The point here is that this dude just didn’t seem to be able to die.” 

 

Shane turns towards the other once more. “So, did he just heal super fast or did he heal normal speed and just miraculously survive?” 

 

“I’m guessing he healed pretty fast,” Ryan supplies with a raised brow. “I mean, they didn’t exactly have the best technology then to save him and he probably would have died with his injuries. I’d say that healing pretty quick was the only way he could survive.” 

 

“Did he just wake up with scars or?...” 

 

“When he reportedly  _ “died” _ on the field, he would pas out for, like, ten minutes before waking up with a closed scar where the injury would be.” 

 

“Sounds like he’s one of those Umbrella Academy kids.” 

 

“We’ll get to that  _ later, _ Shane, just listen to the damn case first.” 

 

Later doesn’t ever seem to come soon enough for the other. Never does and never will. 

 

“On November seventh, Dave and Klaus bought an establishment together under the names  _ David Katz _ and  _ Klaus Harris-Katz.” _

 

“These dudes just seem to have a thing for the number seven, huh?” 

 

Ryan lets out a soft laugh before continuing. “In what little free time they had, the two managed to turn the establishment into a strip club.” 

 

“They really are out here living their best lives, huh? In the middle of a war and everything. One guy just teleported from nowhere, the other is a Jewish guy that had a family and everything beforehand, and they’re both probably together. This is the true representation kids need these days.” 

 

Ryan lets out a loud bellow of laughter. “So you want kids to open strip joints with their significant others.” 

 

“Well, it would make your like pretty wild and fun, wouldn’t it,” Shane volunteers the information, being just as genuine as ever. 

 

The two laugh for more than just one moment, taking in what Shane had said with rather bemused expressions. 

 

“THeir business was, like, booming, right?” Shane suddenly asks. 

 

“A strip club owned by two American guys in the middle of Vietnam with a war going on against both of them?” 

 

“Yes, Ryan, that strip club. Was their business booming?” 

 

Ryan takes a moment to gather up his wits for the question before defeatedly offering, “Yeah, yeah, business really was booming.” 

 

“I knew it.” 

 

“That isn’t the point here!” 

 

“No, but it’s the end goal!” 

 

Ryan huffs before returning to the case.  _ “Anyway, _ by July, it was official that Klaus and Dave were to be wedded soon.” 

 

“They were  _ engaged?”  _

 

“Yeah?” Ryan raises a brow, more questioning than he was anything else. “Why?” 

 

“Why did you say _ probably gay _ in the email when he literally had an entire boyfriend that he was engaged to,” Shane bellows, listening to the other laugh. 

 

“I don’t know? I was tired, I didn’t even remember what I said until you told me!” 

 

“He was  _ engaged!” _

 

“Once again, not the point here, Shane!” 

 

“Then hop to it, Ryan!” 

 

“Okay, okay!” Ryan lets out one more laugh before continuing on. “On so said day, Dave was shot directly in the chest, dying soon after while Klaus yelled for a medic.” 

 

“Poor Klaus.” 

 

“Yeah, his fiance was shot right in front of him in the middle of a war. I’d be pretty upset.” 

 

The taller nods, humming softly as he thinks about the implications of it all. “When were they supposed to be married?” 

 

“Their marriage was actually supposed to be officiated that day but the war interrupted it.” 

 

“I seriously feel bad for him.” 

 

Ryan nods this time, agreeing with his friend. “After Dave’s murder, everyone said it felt like time stopped. Klaus’ hands lit up blue as he hovered in mid-air, eyes glowing pure white.” Shane attempts to suppress a laugh as his friend continues on. “He seemed to summon a ghost army that took out the Vietnamese soldiers in a near instant, murdering them all in cold blood and leaving behind a bloody path with it. Thousands died that day and many went deaf from the echoing yells of the ghosts. Klaus officially earned the nicknames  _ The Ghost King _ and  _ The Angel of Death _ from the others there.” 

 

Shane bursts into laughter. “So, let me get this straight? This guy just  _ bursts _ into Vietnam in, like, _ no clothes at all _ and stuff, right? THen he gets a boyfriend and they open a  _ strip joint _ together as maybe something to officiate their love or whatever. And  _ then, _ when Dave dies, after some Umbrella Academy crap is already going on before the Academy was even  _ thought of _ happens and this dude summons an entire ghost army?” 

 

“That’s not even all of it,” Ryan chimes in with his own laughter. 

 

“It’s not?” 

 

“No, now, shut up and listen. We are literally  _ almost done. _ And then we can get to the theories. There really aren’t many.” 

 

“Okay, okay.” 

 

“Now, after this, Klaus stuck around for one more day. After Dave’s funeral, he disappeared the same exact way he had before, still covered in his fiance’s blood and all, even sporting his dog tags this time. He and the briefcase disappeared as if they had never even existed before.” 

 

“THat it,” Shane asks after a moment of silence. 

 

Ryan pulls up yet another smile instantly. “Yeah, that’s it.” 

 

“Okay, now feed me theories.” 

 

Ryan lets out a loud, happy laugh once more. “Alright. Theory number one: Klaus Harris is actually Number Four from The Umbrella Academy.” There’s a pause as Ryan’s eyes scan Sahne up and down, gauging him for any sort of reaction whatsoever. 

 

Shane’s lips purse as he thinks over the implications once more. After a moment, he puckers them, puffing through his nose, “That’s a bit of a stretch. How would he get back there? What would be implied?” 

 

Ryan smiles softly. “Alright, so, people have been saying that since Number Four, a-k-a Klaus Hargreeves as announced by his sister two years ago, famous actress Allison Hargreeves, could possibly be Klaus Harris.” 

 

“Do tell,” the taller muses. 

 

“I will, but you have to  _ let me _ first.” The shorter still sports a wide smile. “Now, as I was saying, there are speculations that he  _ may _ be Klaus Hargreeves. With his brother, Number Five, being someone that can teleport and suddenly appearing seventeen years later after disappearing with the exact same  _ Five-ness _ that he used to have, what can be said about Klaus himself? Can he time travel, too? It was just revealed not even a full week ago that Vanya Hargreeves, Number Seven, has her own powers as well. It wouldn’t be that far of a stretch to say that some of the Hargreeves are still learning their powers, would it?” 

 

“When did this theory even come out?” 

 

“The speculation has been out for years but this supporting evidence is what just got this case to us a few days ago.” 

 

“Oh.” 

 

Ryan pushes a picture towards the other, pointing to two people. “That’s Dave and the one beside him is Klaus. Now, look at this picture.” He shoves another forward, one of Klaus Harvreeges only two weeks beforehand when trailing behind Allison with Vanya hot in their heels, Klaus literally  _ floating _ behind his sister. “That’s Klaus, Allison, and Vanya.” 

 

“Dude can float,” Shane comments. 

 

“Yeah. He has telekinesis, too, apparently.” 

 

“What does that have to do with ghosts?” 

 

Ryan shrugs. “What does being able to hold your breath indefinitely have to do with being able to manipulate anything you throw and making it land wherever you’d like? No one knows, but Number Two, Diego, has both of those powers.” 

 

The taller once again nods. “Okay, not what other theories are there?”

 

“Theory number two: everyone had a mass hallucination caused by their mass hysteria. Hundreds, almost thousands of people all hallucinating at the same time, the same exact thing, and piling up with many corpses.” 

 

“Unrealistic, I like the first one better.” 

 

_ “That’s _ unrealistic,” Ryan cackles, smiling widely. 

 

“Now the first one was a stretch, sure, but it’s better than the same  _ Mass hysteria _ crap we got from that one case a while back where we kept saying sheen. Are there any other theories.” 

 

“Not ones worth looking at.” 

 

“Then lets not.” 

**Author's Note:**

> This was like the most fun shit to write 
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> Please join my Discord server!  
> https://discord.gg/eGkwayy
> 
>  
> 
> Come and talk to me, too!!
> 
> Tumblr: GalehkXigisi or Transheman (May not respond, Tumblr is a buggy bitch)
> 
> Instagram: Todorokishootme or Assbutt666
> 
> Discord: Shooketh Whomst#2679
> 
> Twitter (SFW): DavenderLav
> 
> Twitter (NSFW): DaveyWinchester
> 
> Kik: AdrienSatan


End file.
